Strange But TrueI ended up airing out Marlene today. We didn't go far--just to Wegmans. On the way home, Marlene said, "You know, Charlie's a good kid."
"Yeah, I know." I replied. "He's good at the store."
"You should have another one. I mean, if it doesn't have eczema or colic or stuff," said my mom.
"I don't know."
Marlene was quiet for a few moments. "You know," she said, looking out the car window, "That's why your great-grandmother started having sex."
I was confused. "Because Charlie has eczema? Nana's been dead for five years..."
"No," my mother replied. She was silent.
"Did Nana have eczema then?" I asked. "And why would she not have sex then?"
"No," Marlene said. She paused for a moment. "Your grandmother, Rita, had eczema so bad that there are no baby pictures of her. Then Uncle Bud started to get it. Papa [my great-grandfather] had a lot of money and he tried everything, but swore by homeopathic remedy. They claimed that if you put cow poop on the eczema, it would clear up. So they put cow poop on Rita and Bud, and, I don't know if it was just time for the eczema to clear up or what, but it did."
It took me a minute to digest this. "I really don't want to cover my child with cow crap," I said. "Anyway, what does this have to do with Nana not having sex?"
"Well," Marlene continued, "It was so heart-breaking for her to have a child with eczema that she didn't want anymore, so she stopped having sex with Papa and then they moved into separate bedrooms and stopped."
"So that's why Papa had a mistress!" I said.
"Yeah, but Nana just
thought she was a woman he was helping out. And then she left the house to him when she died. And Rita was mortified that her father was leading a parallel universe."
I thought for a moment. "But there was birth control back then."
My mother nodded her head sagely, "But Nana was a good Catholic woman. She wouldn't have used it."
