BaptismI know my mother has been concerned about whether or not Mark and I
would baptize our son. Although she never said anything to me directly,
she told my both my father and brother to talk to me about it. I find it
odd that she asked my brother as he hasn't been to church in a long
time.
My mother also left church bulletins lying around the house last
Sunday. That was another hint.
The irony of the whole situation is that my mother never goes to
church. A few years ago, she was obsessed with Fr. Callan and Spiritus
Christi. She was into the breakaway church to the point where she was deeply
offended last week when Cardinal Ratzinger became pope. According to my
mom, Ratzinger was the one who excommunicated Callan and the Spiritus
Christi congregation.
I don't think she's been to a Catholic Mass in years. In fact, I can't
remember the last time she darkened the Cathedral door, except to poke
around in the renovated church.
After discussing it for some time, both Mark and I agree that we will
baptize Charlie as a Roman Catholic. We think it is important for a
child to be brought up in a structured religious environment.
My mother came over to babysit for a few hours so Mark and I could go
out for dinner, which is a rare treat these days. As she held Charlie,
he put his hands together like he was praying.
Mom: It looks like he's praying.
Mark: Well, he's the pope reincarnated.
Me: He's practicing because he knows he'll be baptized.
Mom: Good! You are finally getting him baptized.
Me: (mumbling) I know you were worried. I'm going to call the rectory
tomorrow and get information on baptism.
Mom: Where are you having it done?
Me: Sacred Heart.
Mom: (offended) Not Spiritus Christi?
Me: Sacred Heart will be fine.
Mom: Well, make sure you do it in a ten minute ceremony. I hate those
three hour mass things.
Me: I think they usually baptize during Mass. And it's only an hour
long, not three hours.
Mom: Oh, no! Your brother was baptized on Easter and that was three
hours.
Me: No, it wasn't.
Mom: Well, a quick ceremony will do.
I gathered my purse and keys and put on my poncho, ready to leave.
Mom: (seriously) was going to sneak him over to the Cathedral. Katie
and I were going to baptize him ourselves! (critically) I told your
father that you weren't going to baptize the baby and he said that was your
choice. So I told him I was going to baptize the baby myself and he
said they wouldn't let me at the church; I'd get into trouble. I figured
if worse came to worse, I would just smuggle some holy water out and
baptize him here.
I was in complete shock. My mother was dead serious about the whole
d-i-y baptism. I didn't know what to say. She bounced Charlie up and down
on her knee.
Me: Please don't baptize the baby while we're at dinner.
Mom: (indignantly) Lucky for you, I haven't been in a baptizing mood.
