Tears of a ClownAbout a week ago, I went out to lunch with my mother, brothers, sister and husband. We went to the Bill Gray's on Culver by Seabreeze. Up until Saturday, this was my mom's favorite burger joint. She likes the way it is clean, open and bright.
Anyway, as we sat down to eat, I couldn't help myself. "So, Mom, why did you drop out of clown college?," I asked.
You would have thought I said something like, "Mom, tell us about the secret family you've had all these years behind our backs." My brothers and sister were in shock.
"Clown college?!", my brother, Matt, asked in disbelief. "You went to clown college?"
"Yes, I did," said my mother, matter-of-factly while eating a french fry.
"No, you didn't," he said. "You couldn't have. When did you go to clown college?"
"When I was like seven or eight years old," I told Matt.
"Why didn't you tell us, Mom?" Matt pleaded. He was not taking the clown college news well.
"It's not important," my mother said.
"It's very important," Matt told her. He was pretty upset.
"Fine," my mother said. "I went to clown college night school. I even went to Arlene's to buy clown makeup, had a rainbow wig and a clown suit. I could make balloon animals. I quit clown college because the guy who ran it wanted us to be Clowns for Christ. It was creepy."
"I thought you dropped out because you were supposed to come up with a routine and you didn't want to do it in front of people," I said.
"Yeah, that too." My mother paused. "But they wanted us to convert people to Jesus through clowning. It was just weird. I didn't want to be a
Clown for Christ . The guy who taught the class wore a Jesus pin on his costume. He was weird."
"Marlene?" My husband said, "You know if they make a musical about your life, I will sing 'Clown College Dropout'."
My mother rolled her eyes at Mark. "Yes, it was very strange," she mumbled to herself as she ate.
