A Brush With Pseudo-Celebrity
A few years ago, there was a woman who lived on Lake Ave. who we called "Troll Woman". Troll Woman was short, squat and appeared to be in her 60's. On top of Troll Woman's head was a huge, matted purple mess. She had so much hair. She or it looked like a Peter Max painting...or a Norfin Troll come to life.
One could not miss Troll Woman as he/she would drive down Lake Avenue. Troll Woman was the topic of many heated debates: my mom's next door neighbor swore she saw Troll Woman's wig (the neighbor
insisted it was a wig) in a gutter once. The same neighbor also ventured that Troll Woman was not a woman at all...but was perhaps a Troll Man in drag.
All the speculation about Troll Woman was about to change.
One day, my mother went up to Wegmans. Yes, Gentle Reader, this is the same Wegmans where she was previously accosted by a man selling food stamps; the same Wegmans across from white-trash house. As you may remember from a previous entry, my mother followed Arthur Shawcross' girlfriend around the drug store. On this day, my mother would track her ulitmate prize: Troll Woman.
Marlene said she noticed Troll Woman come into the store while she was looking in the video section. She went right onto Troll Woman's trail. She tediously followed Troll Woman up and down the aisles of Wegmans, mentally cataloging everything Troll Woman put into her cart.
She noted the way Troll Woman carefully placed her purse in the cart's child-safety seat.
She walked up behind Troll Woman in one aisle to settle one of the many Troll Woman-centered debates: it was indeed a wig Troll Woman wore. My mother even noticed that Troll Woman's ears were double pierced.
After tracking her around the store, my mom followed Troll Woman to the register. According to my mom, all that Troll Woman bought were some cans of cream of mushroom soup.
To hear my mother tell the story, this was probably the most exciting day in her life. She was extremely proud of herself for tracking our neighborhood celebrity around Wegmans.
Troll Woman hasn't been cruising around for a few years. Each of us has our theory of what happened to her. My mom's neighbor thinks she was locked up. Amy thinks Troll Woman moved away. But I don't agree with any of these theories...I think she became a mushroom.
For more information on Peter Max see:
www.petermax.com
