tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62609442011-04-21T15:45:40.843-04:00Life With MarlenePromoting the celebrity status of my mother, MarleneKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comBlogger721100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-82450486859065841422007-05-09T20:28:00.000-04:002007-05-09T20:38:30.910-04:00Repressed MemoryWhen I was in high school, I was a member of the concert band. During my sophomore year, the band boosters bought all the female members of concert band long, black skirts for the concert. All of the skirts were the same length: very long. When the band moms handed them out to us, they told us to take the skirts home to have our mothers hem them to the proper length.I took my Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1149379145824650062006-06-03T19:43:00.000-04:002006-06-03T19:59:05.836-04:00She's A BeautyI am very proud of my mother. She took her car for an oil change by herself. She went to the mechanic where my dad brings all the cars. At the garage, there are two old men who, as far as I can tell, are just mechanic groupies. Their main function is to hang at the garage. Maybe they ring up customers or make the coffee--I don't know. My father refers to one of the men as "Old Man" Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1140790555653092682006-02-24T09:04:00.000-05:002006-02-24T09:15:55.696-05:00Seizure DogLooking over my posts from the last few days, I realize I forgot to write about the toy that my mother gave Charlie for Valentine's Day.When she came over to visit this past Sunday, she had a large, red bag. Marlene sat on the couch, drew Charlie close to her and pulled out a plush dog. The dog is just not one of your run-of-the-mill plush dogs, but if you press its stomach, it bellowsKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1140633851020298892006-02-22T13:32:00.000-05:002006-02-22T13:44:11.116-05:00Strange But TrueI ended up airing out Marlene today. We didn't go far--just to Wegmans. On the way home, Marlene said, "You know, Charlie's a good kid.""Yeah, I know." I replied. "He's good at the store.""You should have another one. I mean, if it doesn't have eczema or colic or stuff," said my mom."I don't know."Marlene was quiet for a few moments. "You know," she said, looking out the car Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1139150673394059402006-02-05T09:44:00.000-05:002006-02-05T09:44:48.566-05:00 My blog is worth $2,258.16.How much is your blog worth?Guess I'm not as pathetic as I once thought!Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1139062990632315802006-02-04T09:13:00.000-05:002006-02-04T09:23:10.643-05:00According to my mother, she was sleeping around 6 a.m. on a Friday morning about two weeks ago. She was woken up by the psyhco dog, who went beserk and started barking. My mother came downstairs. The dog was sniffing under the kitchen door (that leads to the back door) and barking furiously. She opened the kitchen door a crack and saw the back door was open. My mother went back upstairs to wake Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1136766348298381382006-01-08T19:15:00.000-05:002006-01-08T19:25:48.336-05:00Literary CriticismMy mother came over yesterday to visit with Charlie. Our living room was littered with toys and board books. As my mother sat on the couch, she picked up a Baby Einstein book about colors."This is SO stupid," she remarked flipping the pages. "It says, 'Gustav Klimt'. And then you flip the page and it says 'green'. Now what kid is going to know that?""I think it's just trying to Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1131234173555886462005-11-05T18:39:00.000-05:002005-11-05T18:42:53.556-05:00Recovered MemoryToday, in the Children's Services class, the professor mentioned that children younger than 8 or 9 shouldn't really read historical fiction because they do not have a good grasp on the concept of time.I wanted to tell my class how true this was. For I learned about time the hard way.When I was seven, I was thinking about what I knew of history, which was not much. I asked Marlene,Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1131233873850479492005-11-05T18:29:00.000-05:002005-11-05T18:37:53.860-05:00FroggerI don't think I ever posted the story about the frog. I was reminded of the frog this past Wednesday when I realized that I was supposed to tell a story for my storytelling class and had nothing prepared. So, I decided to tell every Marlene story where she is terrorized by wildlife in urban Rochester.When I was in high school, we had a swimming pool in our backyard. However, no one in my Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1130413483572135242005-10-27T07:29:00.000-04:002005-10-27T07:44:43.586-04:00For What It's Worth... My blog is worth $0.00.How much is your blog worth?And I thought it was priceless!Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1129763007787164542005-10-19T18:56:00.000-04:002005-10-19T19:03:27.793-04:00Crayfish UpdateI just got off the phone with my mother. She called to update me regarding the crayfish. Coincidently, my father just stopped by to pick up library books. When he heard it was my mother on the phone, he shook his head and said he just left there because they were looking for another crayfish.The phone conversation went like this:Marlene: Patrick and I went through the garbage to Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1129742160079970312005-10-19T12:56:00.000-04:002005-10-19T15:26:04.296-04:00On a Typical Morning...I am out from work for at least this week because I am supposed to take it easy. I spent last weekend in the hospital with acute diverticulitis and I need to rest my body so it will heal. Wednesday is my mother's day off. She offered to come over to help me get my house in order since I had been laid up. I called her once I was up and moving."It's been a terrible morning soKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1128470737815272702005-10-04T19:59:00.000-04:002005-10-04T20:05:37.820-04:00Life With MarleneIt's been a complete travesty that I haven't updated Life With Marlene in two months, especially after I've received a lot of positive comments regarding this weblog. I apologize; I went back to work a month early and then started back on my grad degree at the end of August, so I haven't time to write.So, what's Marlene been up to, you ask? Well, I called her last night. She's Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1122474101672235032005-07-27T10:19:00.000-04:002005-07-27T10:21:41.680-04:00Charlie's BaptismCharlie’s baptism was held on Sunday, July 10th, at Sacred Heart Cathedral at 5 pm Mass. Mark and I decided to hold it at 5 pm Mass because we were pretty sure no one in my family would get out of bed for 9:30 am Mass and knew they definitely wouldn’t for 7 am. The priest who interviewed us insist that we invite as many people as possible to the baptism because it is to celebrateKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1121624763664497822005-07-17T14:18:00.000-04:002005-07-17T14:26:03.670-04:00Tales from Oompa Loompa LandI told my mother that I wanted to see the new "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" movie. I was hoping that she would offer to take my son for a few hours so I could go, but she didn't. However, she did go off about the finer points of the 1971 version with Gene Wilder.Mom: What's that kid's name...Jimmy Bucket?Me: (rolls eyes) NO, it's Charlie Bucket. Hence the title Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1120836781448595142005-07-08T11:26:00.000-04:002005-07-08T11:33:01.453-04:00Bored on the Fourth of JulyMark and I packed up Charlie and went to Marlene's for the Fourth of July. While we were eating, I mentioned to my sister, Katie, that one of her friends called (I still answer the phone at my mom's house when I'm there). Katie rolled her eyes and said that this friend probably wanted to go to the fireworks with her. She also mentioned that the girl is living with Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1120315376896053572005-07-02T10:32:00.000-04:002005-07-02T10:42:58.926-04:00We Go Back A Long Way...Some people think my blog is cruel--how can a daughter do such a thing to her mother? After all, your mother brought you into this world, they tell me. Then they go on to ask, what if your son started a blog about you?Quite frankly, I would be impressed if Charlie started a blog about me. After all, he is only 3 months old.My "cruelty" towards my mom dates back to a long Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1120160023602822152005-06-30T15:32:00.000-04:002005-06-30T15:33:43.603-04:00Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1120159730523614702005-06-30T15:22:00.000-04:002005-06-30T15:28:50.526-04:00Tim HortonSo I was out with Marlene today. She wanted to go through the Burger King Drive-thru at the corner of Long Pond and Ridgeway. At that corner, they are building a Tim Hortons AND a Starbucks with drive-thru capability.Marlene: Do you know what is the stupidest person I've ever met?Me (annoyed): No, Mom. WHAT is the stupidest person you've ever met?Marlene: That they're building a Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1119890697875111222005-06-27T12:31:00.000-04:002005-06-27T12:44:57.880-04:00C is for CookieWhen I was home caring for Charlie, before I went back to work, my mother would come over to help. One day, my husband sent me a link to a news story about Cookie Monster. Sesame Street had introduced a new muppet to encourage children to eat fruit and vegetables. This new muppet sang a song to the Cookie Monster called "A Cookie is a Sometimes Food".This greatly upset Marlene."TheKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1119554335705146522005-06-23T15:09:00.000-04:002005-06-23T15:18:55.710-04:00Revisiting an Old ArgumentI haven't written in over a month because, between work and caring for Charlie, I haven't the energy. Charlie has been trying because he has colic. He screams constantly. This is important to remember; my patience has been on edge for quite some time. This led to last night's argument.My family came over after my brother, Pat's, eighth grade graduation. My father bought Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1116779946684960542005-05-22T12:38:00.000-04:002005-05-22T12:39:06.690-04:00Date with the PhotographerI had the photo shoot moved from Wednesday to Saturday because my mother said that would work better for her. When I talked to the woman who was scheduling the shoot, she said that the photographer would follow us around for a few hours while I aired my mother out. She also said we should ‘act natural’.So, I thought, I should follow my mother around and make biting Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1115857754559255512005-05-11T20:24:00.000-04:002005-05-11T20:29:14.566-04:00Mother’s DayA few Sundays ago I was up around 6 a.m. with Charlie. As Charlie hung out in his chair, I read through the paper. I saw an article looking for “Mama’s Tales” or wisdom one received from her mother. The reporter was soliciting these anecdotes for a special Mother’s Day article. Now, I know the newspaper was probably looking for timeless advice passed down from generation to generationKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1115039805060850762005-05-02T09:14:00.000-04:002005-05-02T09:16:45.063-04:00FAQS About “Life With Marlene”I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from friends and acquaintances on “Life With Marlene”. However, the same questions keep coming up about my weblog. I hope this FAQ will answer your most burning questions.Q: Why start a weblog about your mom, Marlene?A: Why not? If you were a loving child, you would dedicate web space to your mother.Q: Your write some embarrassing Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1114797014200660412005-04-29T13:48:00.000-04:002005-04-29T13:50:14.203-04:00Marlene's Cunning PlanAbout a week ago, my mother decided that my son desperately needed a swing. She told me it would soothe him; after all, we had a few nights were he did not sleep. I told her I appreciated that she was thinking of my husband and I and our lack of sleep.Mom: It’s not about you. It’s for my grandson.That evening, I received a phone call. Mom: I got your swing. Can I drop it offKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1114386974623657232005-04-24T19:38:00.000-04:002005-04-26T14:56:38.056-04:00BaptismI know my mother has been concerned about whether or not Mark and I would baptize our son. Although she never said anything to me directly, she told my both my father and brother to talk to me about it. I find it odd that she asked my brother as he hasn't been to church in a long time. My mother also left church bulletins lying around the house last Sunday. That was another hint.The irony Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1114369329068478802005-04-24T14:46:00.000-04:002005-04-24T15:02:09.070-04:00The Path Less TraveledMy mother has Wednesdays off from work. This past Wednesday, my mother decided that we should go to the zoo. "We" included her, me, my son, and my brother and sister. Marlene was excited about getting a zoo membership because her grandkids can go to the zoo for free with her. I told her Charlie could go to the zoo for free anyways, since he was under two years old.I had a Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1113937924843394112005-04-19T14:53:00.000-04:002005-04-19T15:12:04.846-04:00Marlene's GrandsonNote: I will be writing about the last few weeks in snippets as my son sleeps. These posts may not be 100% gramatically accurate, but I think it's important to bring the Marlene to the people by any means possible.For those of you who may have been hiding in a cave for the past three weeks, I finally gave birth to my son, Charles Wallace, on April 2nd. I was in labor for about Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1112043991541625132005-03-28T15:26:00.000-05:002005-03-28T16:07:39.106-05:00Tears of a ClownAbout a week ago, I went out to lunch with my mother, brothers, sister and husband. We went to the Bill Gray's on Culver by Seabreeze. Up until Saturday, this was my mom's favorite burger joint. She likes the way it is clean, open and bright.Anyway, as we sat down to eat, I couldn't help myself. "So, Mom, why did you drop out of clown college?," I asked.You would have thought I Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1110655615013189272005-03-12T14:18:00.000-05:002005-03-12T14:26:55.016-05:00Send in the ClownAs I was walking around the mall today, I noticed some clowns hanging around. I think they were there as part of the Easter Bunny and Easter train celebration.However, they brought back a memory.When I was about seven, my mother took clown classes at Greece Community Education. It was very exciting to be a child and have a parent who was a clown. How cool is that? I remember my Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1110556247166077562005-03-11T10:34:00.000-05:002005-03-11T10:50:47.166-05:00Tour of the CathedralMy mother was home Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday this week. I called her on Wednesday because I really needed to walk. With the weather in the 20s and snow and ice on the ground, I can't really walk around the block. I usually walk the mall. When I asked my mom if she would take me to the mall, she told me 'no'. I then told her I didn't care where I walked, as long as I couldKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1110311485682610402005-03-08T14:50:00.000-05:002005-05-04T16:39:54.956-04:00Doctor’s VisitAs I get closer to my due date, my mother becomes more excited.Last Wednesday, I came home from work with terrible cramps. The cramps then progressed into contractions that were about 10 minutes apart. Since I have never been pregnant nor have given birth before, I did not know what was going on. I called my mom and then ended up calling the hospital (the doctor’s office had closed Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1109085799796068952005-02-22T10:09:00.000-05:002005-02-22T10:23:19.796-05:00Baby Blanket BingoMy mother and my friend, Amy, are hosting a baby shower for me this upcoming Sunday. Although it is only Tuesday, this shower has already proved interesting.Amy has been trying to coordinate the shower for about a month. Whenever she tried to get together with my mother to plan it, my mother had some sort of "thing" going on where she was unavailable. Amy took it upon herself toKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1105970053378338792005-01-17T08:43:00.000-05:002005-01-17T08:54:13.376-05:00A Pearl of Wisdom from My Mother
My mother has a hobby. Some moms are really into knitting or cross-stitch or collecting dolls. My mother has honed her skills so that she can spot a hooker on the street.
"It's all in the purses," she says, sagely. "Prostitutes don't carry purses. Think about it, it makes sense. Someone could steal their purses while they walk the streets."
My mom has made Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1105559311591602532005-01-12T14:22:00.000-05:002005-01-12T14:48:31.590-05:00Celebrity Poker Showdown
My mom bought my dad a Texas Hold 'em poker set for Christmas. It is not a spectacular set with all sorts of chips--it's just a deck of cards and enough chips for maybe a few people. We started playing games, like Balderdash, on Christmas Day. Mark and I left to go to visit his side of the family. According to my father, the Texas Hold'em set was taken out after Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1101304859100259532004-11-24T08:59:00.000-05:002004-11-24T09:05:21.326-05:00It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas...
For the past few weeks, I have been negligent in my duty to air out Marlene since my husband’s new job started. He now has weekends off, so I have been spending my Saturdays with him. However, I must have been feeling masochistic this past weekend, as I decided to take Marlene out shopping.
The Sisters of Mercy (the nuns, not the techno-band) Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1100358735815907682004-11-13T09:54:00.000-05:002004-11-13T10:12:15.816-05:00CoCo Krispies
I had an OB appointment yesterday. I called my mother afterwards to let her know how it went. I know that if she could have, she would have accompanied me to the appointment. Since she's a nurse, she likes to watch other nurses and doctors work. She asks all sorts of questions, and, will put people in their places if needs be. In fact, when Mark and I had to go to genetic Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1097793537173702172004-10-14T18:20:00.000-04:002004-10-14T18:40:17.813-04:00My CoCo
Not long after Cookie died, my mother decided to get a new dog. I was home at the time- it was the week when I was in transition from Aquinas to Mercy. She called and mentioned something about Lollipop Farm (a local pound), but "not adopting a dog today". I decided to go with her.
I hadn't been out to Lollipop Farm since I was a kid. It's pretty nice, for a pound. Mom said she wanted aKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1097194222631239132004-10-07T19:55:00.000-04:002004-10-07T20:10:22.630-04:00She's a Dangerous Lady
Today was pure hell at work. The architect of the media center hired a photographer to come in and photograph the building. I was under the impression that the photographer would be there taking photos for 5, maybe 15 minutes at most.
His assistants were setting up the media center for the photo shoot when I came in at 7:30. They covered our chairs because the pattern wasKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1096923855278027562004-10-04T17:02:00.000-04:002004-10-04T17:04:15.276-04:00Picture of Marlene
For a photo of Marlene, check out www.buffalo.edu/~kmconiff/writings.htm
It is part of a project for my Library Science technology class.
Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1095035095432644542004-09-12T20:12:00.000-04:002004-09-12T20:24:55.433-04:00The Big Announcement.
I took my mom to Pizzeria Uno's about a month ago to air her out. It was a typical Saturday: we planned on going to lunch and then maybe the thrift store, so Marlene could search for treasures. My mother found out something that day that I never intended to tell her about.
We were practically the only people in the restaurant. I think the first hurricane-Charley--had hit Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1090365646251580092004-07-20T19:20:00.000-04:002004-07-20T19:20:46.250-04:00Wide Blue Yonder
So I called my mother on Sunday to let her know I was back from vacation. Mark and I actually came back on Saturday, so we could have Sunday to do laundry and get the house in order before we both went back to work on Monday.
As we were talking, I heard a sound like thunder. “Oh, it's those damn Blue Angels again,” my mother said. “I hate air shows. I mean, they are so Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1089039273417848922004-07-05T10:53:00.000-04:002004-07-05T10:56:52.280-04:00The History of the World According to Marlene
Usually, on Independence Day, I have a barbeque at my house. This year was different; we went to my mother’s house.
Since it was hot and humid, a few of us ate dinner on the front porch: my brother, Matt; my husband, Mark; me; my dad, and Marlene. My brother is a classics major at University at Buffalo. He was talking about the movie, “Troy” and Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1089038996923348482004-07-05T10:48:00.000-04:002004-07-05T10:49:56.923-04:00PROFESSOR MARLENE'S EXAM
Stupid People of History 101 Final Exam
Identify the following people as stupid or not stupid. Each question is worth one point.
1. Gilgamesh
2. Moses
3. Shakespeare
4. Samuel Johnson
5. Henry the VIII
6. Odysseus
7. Michael Moore
8. Leonardo da Vinci
KEY:
1. Who the hell is that?
2. stupid
3. stupid (He didn’t write Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1086208217265033032004-06-02T19:28:00.000-04:002004-06-02T16:30:17.266-04:00More Than I Needed To Know...
So my mother has been down in the dumps over the past few days. She called me on Saturday because she wanted me to "air her out". "Airing Mom out" means taking her out somewhere in public, usually shopping. I call it "airing her out" because it's one of the few times when she gets out of the house. The only other time is to go to work.
My mother claims that if IKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1085356733487440672004-05-23T22:58:00.000-04:002004-05-23T19:58:53.486-04:00"The agony and the irony are killing me..."
So I decided to make this huge lasagna dinner for my mom since she was depressed. She has been in a slump ever since the dog died. I think she started to think of the dog as the sixth Coniff kid. Mary Giorgi, my mom's neighbor, said my mom and dad were more upset about Cookie dying than my sister and brother. It's just sad.
Yesterday, my mom put the Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1083541268243165712004-05-02T19:35:00.000-04:002005-05-04T16:43:41.953-04:00Life's a BitchI called my mother early this morning to borrow some bricks for the flower beds. She had a story to tell:Last night, around 10 o'clock, she suddenly had a burning desire to see the fast ferry which pulled into Rochester this past Tuesday. So she got my sister and her boyfriend (Katie's boyfriend), Brandon, to help her to the car. Supposedly, my mother is having sinus trouble and Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1083437424267626282004-05-01T14:28:00.000-04:002004-05-02T20:58:50.873-04:00White Trash Day
My mother, sister and youngest brother picked me up to go to the Salvation Army. As we were driving, my sister asked me if I would be willing to look over her English paper due this Friday. Her thesis is that a protagonist does not necessarily have to be physically strong to be a hero. She then rattled off a list of possible protagonists: Ralph from Lord of the Flies, Hamlet, etcKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1080611250337099062004-03-29T20:33:00.000-05:002004-03-30T07:05:46.030-05:00Marlene V. The Witnesses
I called my mother last Saturday morning to tell her I could not air her out that day. As we were catching up on the week's events, she told me that a group of Jehovah Witnesses had parked their car in front of her house.
Mom: Oh, shit. The Witnesses are here. (pause) I'm not going to answer the door.
Me: I don't like when they come to my house. I can never get them toKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1079916605954062012004-03-21T19:21:00.000-05:002004-03-21T19:57:57.950-05:00Pure Consumer
I am returning from my sabbatical of blogging about Marlene. I apologize to those who may have missed me. You see, my mother really hasn't gone out over the past few weeks. All that changed yesterday.
I called my mom around 10 in the morning, with no expectations of taking her out. " I have to get socks," she said. "Your sister has taken all the socks in the house. They're Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1077851461724945992004-02-26T22:11:00.000-05:002004-02-26T22:13:53.043-05:00Marlene Alighieri
I just called my mother to tell her I had updated my web journal.
Mom: What did you write about?
Me: You and Dante.
Mom: What good is that going to do?
Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1077850827338776862004-02-26T21:42:00.000-05:002004-02-26T22:03:18.793-05:00She Bangs
So I went over to my Mom's to celebrate my youngest brother's birthday. After the cake, my sister, brother, mother, father and husband were standing around the kitchen, talking.
Me: So, Katie, when is your presentation on Dante's Inferno due for English class?
Katie: Monday, but I can't present then because I'm going to a scholarship luncheon.
Mom: You better tell him that you're Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1077402404266880462004-02-21T16:58:00.000-05:002004-02-21T17:31:27.043-05:00Spinnin' A Yarn
A few days ago, I tried to teach my mother how to knit. She was inspired to learn by the current eyelash scarf trend. We searched two craft stores for knitting needles and yarn. Materials are scarce since knitting has become a hot trend. When we finally found materials, I told her that she should start on a thicker yarn and, once she got the hang of knitting, she could move to Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1077112592625911712004-02-18T08:44:00.000-05:002004-02-18T08:59:11.606-05:00A Toast to Microwaves
I was catching up with my mother at dinner on Sunday.
Mom: Do you know what you shouldn't microwave?
Me: Marshmallow Fluff?
*When I said this, I was thinking of the time when my father decided to heat up a jar of Fluff in the microwave. He said after five minutes, he opened the microwave. The cap on the jar looked like it was crooked. He opened the cap and the contents Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1077030614392721852004-02-17T10:04:00.000-05:002004-02-17T10:12:52.733-05:00Jeepers Creepers 2
I invited my family over for dinner on Sunday night. As dinner was wrapping up, my sister lamented the fact that she cannot take out books from the library because her fines are too much. "I can't take out movies from Blockbuster either," she said.
I reminded her that Blockbuster is not the same thing as the library.
"You should use the I-Demand movies," my mother told her. Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1076292272240453362004-02-08T20:50:00.000-05:002004-02-08T21:06:58.780-05:00Marlene v. The Dog Part II
My mother has no control over my sister and brother. Of course, my sister is 18 and brother is 24. They come and go when they please and this causes my mother some angst. Especially when it involves letting the dog out.
My mother related an anecdote about how she was wearing her night gown, alseep in her chair on Friday night. She was getting ready to go upstairs whenKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1076029646726831792004-02-05T19:48:00.000-05:002004-02-05T20:10:46.250-05:00Marlene V. The Dog
My mother is not domestic. Growing up, most of our dinner were pre-packaged or made from a box. Occasionally, my mother will get it in her head that she is Martha Stewart or Donna Reed. It is then we are in for a real treat.
Marlene called me on Sunday to inquire if I was going to be over for Superbowl. "I'm making somethin' in the crock pot with pineapple and carrot", she Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1074727055605142422004-01-21T18:15:00.000-05:002004-01-21T18:19:37.076-05:00Snowbound
Friday was a rough day. It was the second day I had off of work because of extreme temperatures. It was so cold on Friday that neither my or my husband’s cars would start. So I had to call my mom’s house to see about getting the batteries jumped.
My mother hates snow. She fears the awesome wrath of winter. Her fear of snow can hamper her daily life. She becomes obsessed with the Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1074287127375156142004-01-16T16:04:00.000-05:002004-01-16T16:07:22.043-05:00A Brush With Pseudo-Celebrity
A few years ago, there was a woman who lived on Lake Ave. who we called "Troll Woman". Troll Woman was short, squat and appeared to be in her 60's. On top of Troll Woman's head was a huge, matted purple mess. She had so much hair. She or it looked like a Peter Max painting...or a Norfin Troll come to life.
One could not miss Troll Woman as he/she would drive downKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1073950187723365322004-01-12T18:12:00.000-05:002004-01-12T18:30:19.630-05:00A Brush With Celebrity
About 12 years ago, my mother had a brush with celebrity. I happened to be with her.
We went up to the local Fay's Drug Store on Lake Avenue. My mother was in full shopping mode. What I mean by full shopping mode for Marlene is this: she picks up items in a store, looks at them with amazement and puts them down. It's like watching someone who came from an Eastern Bloc Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1073781946288326332004-01-10T19:42:00.000-05:002004-01-10T19:51:59.953-05:00A Reaction to Fame
A friend of mine who lives in Washington, D.C. called to tell me how much she enjoys "Life With Marlene".
I called my mother to let her know.
Me: Mom, you are a cult superstar!! People in the Washington D.C. area have been reading your blog!
Mom: Don't give a bullshit!
I don't know what that even means. Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1073765182838468882004-01-10T14:52:00.000-05:002004-01-10T15:07:55.343-05:00The Death of Mr. Potato
Many of my readers might think that my mother is a lovable, bumbling clown like Lucille Ball. But I must tell you she has a sadistic side. Because of this, I was a warped child and am now a very warped adult.
Case in point: When I was a child, Mr. Steak Steakhouses were very popular. I remember the commercials; they were stop-action like a Harry Hausen movie. They Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1073348570048947602004-01-05T19:11:00.000-05:002004-01-05T19:35:07.730-05:00The White Trash House
My mother is fascinated with this double house across from the local Wegmans. She calls it the "white trash house". I am not sure as to what the house actually looks like; I've never seen it. All have is my mother's description of it.
Marlene gets fixated on weird things. The white trash house is just one in a number of my mother's obsessions. She also gets fixated on Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1073174632132123312004-01-03T19:01:00.001-05:002004-01-03T19:04:10.966-05:00Reposting from Previous Blog
Dear Readers,
As many of you know I have another blog...one that is probably not of interest of you because it is of my humble life...not the exploits of a celebrity, like Marlene.
I posted two messages from my other blog here, for your enjoyment. Sorry if it is a repeat for some of you.
Enjoy.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1073174496666971922004-01-03T19:01:00.000-05:002004-01-03T19:01:55.530-05:00The Salvation Army part II
I just reposted a story about my mom at the Salvation Army a few months ago. Just thought I would update on Marlene and her love affair with America's favorite thrift store.
Yesterday, I went over Mom's house for dinner. She was dressed in a cool velveteen sweater vest. I commented on how much I liked it and then inquired if she purchased it at the Salvation Army. Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-107317444815904342004-01-03T18:59:00.000-05:002004-01-03T19:01:07.046-05:002003-07-30 - 3:41 p.m.
Senior Day--a continuation of the Salvation Army entry (a Marlene joint)
I forgot to add in my last entry about Senior day.
Wednesday is Senior Day at the Salvation Army. There were a lot of old ladies there.
As I went up to pay, I realized the true magnitude of having a Senior Day. Mom was behind me with her cart, which included the sugar serving set and cow Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1073083390613986902004-01-02T17:43:00.000-05:002004-01-02T17:47:01.460-05:00Marlene vs. The Squirrel
My mother hates squirrels. I suppose she has good reason to with all the abuse they put her through. But I think she antagonizes them to the point where they want to harm her.
Case-in-point: one spring, when I was home from college, I made a cake, using canned frosting. I cleaned up my mess, putting the empty frosting can in the garbage. I suppose that evening my motherKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1072991606219409902004-01-01T16:13:00.000-05:002004-01-01T16:20:02.163-05:00The Chair
-Or-
Altar of a Goddess
In my mom's living room, there is a chair directly across from the t.v. A coffee table covered in scented candles, crossword puzzle magazines, candy and an ashtray is in front of this chair. The table reminds me of a Mexican Day of the Dead altar because of all the different artifacts and candles. This is my mom's little corner of the living room.
There have Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1072881316063881712003-12-31T09:23:00.000-05:002003-12-31T09:38:42.530-05:00Marlene's Treasures
My mom and I went to the beach the other day to look for "treasures" as she put it. I think she harbors a fantasy about finding the Hope Diamond washed up on the shore of Lake Ontario. Judging by what was actually washed up on the beach, she shouldn't hold her breath. We did find some interesting pieces of drift wood. My mom found a plastic penguin, which she took to be a "Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1072880487906648682003-12-31T09:21:00.000-05:002003-12-31T09:22:46.810-05:00The Official Theme Song Lyrics
Amy wrote me about the theme song:
Hmmm... As I recall, there weren't a lot of lyrics to the "Life with Marlene" theme song, but I do remember it ends with "That's just life / With Marlene," and then she would jiggle her knee and say "Yeah" the way she does... Or maybe that could change from week to week, and sometimes say "Stuff" or "Thing"!
Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1072733299409911182003-12-29T16:17:00.000-05:002003-12-29T16:28:36.570-05:00Marlene's Theory of Monster Movies
Since my husband has been working bell-to-bell over the past few days, I have been spending a lot of time with my mom. Yesterday was the third consecutive day of "airing" my mom out. It was a beautiful day--almost reached 60 degrees outside, which is unusual for Rochester in December. My mom wanted to walk on the beach and find "treasures", as she put it. "Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6260944.post-1072732054447787722003-12-29T16:00:00.000-05:002003-12-29T16:07:51.896-05:00The Premise of "Life With Marlene"
My friend, Amy, said my mom could be the star of her own sitcom. Amy wanted to call it "Life With Marlene". It would feature the misadventures of my mom. Amy even thought of a theme song...it would be jazzy. I forgot the lyrics, perhaps Amy can email me with them.
Unfortunately, I have not the time nor money to produce such a sitcom. I do think my mom is Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13467431641317104916noreply@blogger.com0